He Got This

I read an article today on one of my favorite blogs Black and Married with Kids. It was titled 4 Things Your Husband is Trying to Protect you From. Since I’d rather you read it for yourself I will just say that the premise was that what women can misconstrue as controlling or nosey might actually be your spouse trying to look out for you. Now for the record, I have never thought my husband to be controlling or nosey or we wouldn’t have married, but I am sure I shortchange his effort to protect me.

For the past few weeks I have been suffering from quite a few migraines. While they are not new to me, it’s been years since they have plagued my daily routine. My normal remedies failed. On our way to a business meeting with my husband I was in bad shape. I was nauseous, my vision was blurry, and I felt inebriated. My husband said, “I think you are too stressed and it sounds like your blood pressure is up.“ I chuckled at his diagnosis because I have never, I repeat, never had an issue with my blood pressure and to be sure I was stressed, such is life. As the day went on, I started to feel a little better, my migraine downgraded to a headache and my vision was better, but he insisted that we stop at a CVS and check my “pressure” on the way home.

Reluctantly I put my arm in the thingy, pressed the button and watched the numbers jump all around until it landed on one higher than I’d ever seen. In fact, it read pre-hypertension. I was stunned and he didn’t gloat at being right or relish in his victory. In fact, he looked quite concerned, but said nothing. A few days later he insisted I cancel weekend plans and pack the kids and me a bag for a weekend at the beach. Now while the idea seemed sweet and I was sure the children would love it, I just kept thinking about how much work it is to watch two babies who love water and no not how to swim at the beach.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said. “I got this. Just pack the bags and when we get there, I’ll take care of the kids and you just relax.” I have to give you one last tidbit. I love water; it calms me, soothes me and helps me clear my mind. In fact, we were married on a beach. With no fight left in me, I did as I was told. I sent cancelation messages to those I’d committed and packed. For the first time I realized it was actually Mother’s Day weekend.

When we arrived I took the children to the resort pool while he went shopping for last minute supplies and dinner. The next morning we went to the beach and for the first time in God knows how long I got to relax. It was just what I needed and my helpmate knew it and although I don’t have too many Mother’s Days under my belt, I am sure this one will go down in the history books as one of my favorites.

When you are confident you’ve made a good choice in a mate ladies, let him protect you in every way. It’s a wonderful feeling when Wonder Woman gets to take off her bangles and know that her Super Man “got this.” Now if, I can just get him to do the dishes.

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Winning

 

 

I’ve always been pretty competitive. I mean who doesn’t like to win. The older I’ve gotten or I guess I should say the more mature; winning has taken a back seat and most times I just want to finish what I’ve started. I wouldn’t say this out loud, but my 5 year-old daughter is a lot like me. She likes to win. I mean she really likes to win, if you want her to do something, make it a competition and she’s guaranteed to put forth an effort. Problem is, she can’t stand to lose. I mean she despises it. So we work hard with her on explaining sportsmanship and the idea that winning isn’t necessarily everything.

And for the record, no I’m not the parent who loses all the time to make her feel better. If she wants to beat me, she better be prepared to “earn” it. The reality is the world does not guarantee you a win, it says you can play, but to win you’ve got to put in some hard work and dedication. But when my daughter loses she pouts, she repeatedly says “I didn’t win.” Losing creates the feeling of disappointment and no one wants to feel disappointed. But what if we always thought we won? What if, even as adults we always thought we won, even if we didn’t?

My 2-year-old son is amazing. Every morning when I free him from his car seat to go into daycare, he challenges me to a race to the door. I must admit I started this competition out of desperation. He was moving entirely too slow one day, but I didn’t know it would become a part of our daily routine. Now he always lines up at the same crack in the sidewalk and looks at me and proudly announces “on the mark, get set, go.” Then he jogs, a little quicker than a walk but definitely not a full on run. He never leaves me behind when I’m in heels and a short skirt. He never falls. He never rushes when I pass him. He finds his own pace and he jogs. And when he arrives at the door, he always says the exact same thing “I win.”

Usually I can’t help but laugh because he does this in every competition, especially with his sister. She’ll challenge him to something and she’ll try her best and no matter what place he comes in he always says the same thing “ I win.” The other night my husband challenged them both to a race to the top of the stairs to get ready for bath time.

“On the mark, get set, go,” he announced. They were off to the races and running up one step at a time. When my daughter arrived first, she jumped up and down and shouted, “I won, I won. Brother you lose, I won.” By this point he was climbing the last step and grinning from ear to ear and guess what he said? You guessed it “I didn’t lose sissy, I win. I always win.”

Wow, I couldn’t help but smile. His confidence wasn’t broken, he wasn’t sad. He wasn’t crying and he definitely was not disappointed. In his mind he’s always a winner and God Bless him, because as long as he thinks it….it is so.