It’s the Friday before the New Year and my daughter woke me up at exactly 3:31 a.m., she claims the reason for her intrusion is that I “forgot to get the cuddle buddy I wanted you to sleep with.” Yeah, yeah I know on the surface seems sweet right, but it’s a set up, it always is. See, she hands it to me and climbs up in the bed next to me at the same time. She almost immediately drifts off back to sleep and I am left tossing and turning and trying to figure out how to get back in my comfort zone. After about thirty minutes, I throw in the towel and decide to use my time wisely. I throw in a load of laundry, load the dishwasher, get a head start on packing lunches and make myself a nice hot cup of tea.
My mind wanders for a bit and rests with the realization that 2012 is wrapping up and I ask myself what mommy moments will I carry into 2013? With 361 days behind me, I figure I have about that many special times. But there are always a few that make you smile even in the midst of insomnia.
I smile at Morgan waving with both hands in the Christmas Parade and watching my 16-month old take his first steps. I am overjoyed at baby girl meeting the First Lady and going on her first casting call. I grin at envisioning my babies running to the garden to pick cherry tomatoes and eat them off the vine. I even laugh at my daughter jumping off the kiddy table with her brother in awe, because her job “is to show him cool stuff.” Even though, it was far from funny at the time.
Then there are those moments that make my eyes water, the fear for my infant son amidst the Trayvon Martin shooting. The fear I felt when doctors used a bag full of ice to reduce my son’s out of control heart rate. The helplessness I felt when not one, but two babies suffered a bout with pneumonia. The anger I felt when my baby girl was injured at an after school program, lost two fingernails and stayed bandaged for two weeks.
And then the joy comes back as I remember Morgan pleading to come to work with me, to see what “other kids I go see when I leave in the morning.” I smile at the thought of my 16 month-old learning the sign for “more” and not only saying mommy, but singing it.
And if I am really quiet I can hear my son’s baby chatter starting to form words and sentences ringing in my ear and my daughter singing “This girl is on fire” like she’s in the video with Alicia Keys. I can hear her say “You’re the best mommy ever” and I can hear my son’s intentional kisses all over my face.
Yes, 2012 was on fire. It was blazing, epic even. But with mommy moments like those, I can’t wait to see what 2013 has in store. I am eternally grateful for my motherhood journey, even when my sweet slumber in interrupted, it’s an opportunity to restore order to our home, reflect on my blessings and rejuvenate.