Not Blonde

Okay, so I’ve never been a fan of a whole lot of hair color. Not knocking it, just hasn’t been my thing. I tried it once in college and thank God my school colors were blue and orange and it happened to be spirit week because I rocked the later for a minute until I saved enough money to go to a professional salon to get it fixed. Then there was the time in 2002 when I ended up with a pumpkin on my shoulders in the middle of summer. I guess this chocolate complexion just isn’t conducive to hair color, other than jet black. So you can understand my surprise to have a hair color conversation with my 3-year-old. Where does she get this stuff?

We were casually looking through pictures of children and she asked me to stop on one little girl she mistook for one of her favorite classmates. When I explained her mistake she smiled and said, “I like her hair. What color is that? It’s not brown.” Duh, now it’s time for my mistake, because I really didn’t catch on to her enthusiasm. “No, honey, it’s blonde.”

“Blonde,” she says. “I like blonde.” Sure, blonde is cool, I thought, but so is sandy brown or off black, the color of her hair. “I’m going to make my hair blonde when I get big,” she says. Words cannot express my dismay. I mean really, really Morgan, blonde.

Now before all my blonde hair friends get offended, please try to understand that this is comical, but quite serious. See the dilemma is that I want her to accept people for who they are, and judge by the content of their character and not the color of their skin or hair. But that has to begin with self-acceptance. I am determined to raise her to be happy with who she is and what she looks like despite the negative depictions of African American women in this world. I mean, even my First Lady has been demeaned for her booty and her hair.

I can honestly say, I have never cared too much about hair. I don’t like doing it, don’t like getting it done and don’t put too much thought into it. I cannot say the same for my daughter. She calls her auntie and makes her own hair appointments for braids and beads. She reminds me on Sundays it’s time to wash and style and asked for a styling doll for Christmas. Do you know how difficult it was to try to find a styling doll with some color? It’s virtually impossible and the one we ended up with has a slight tan and hair like a traditional Barbie. Apparently, the demand for the tanned one is a lot less too, because it sold for about $20 less than all the others. How come I can’t find one with kinky, curly, black hair? How come I can’t find one that looks like chocolate?

I read in the newspaper a few weeks ago that a local trade school has added natural hair to their repertoire of styling professions. And while at a hair salon last week, my stylist told me to be on the look out for a natural hair salon real soon. This sounds great, maybe I can sign Morgan up for a tour.

If my daughter is dead set to be blonde years from now, I’d be her biggest supporter. Until then, I will sound the alarm everyday on how absolutely beautiful, her slightly kinky, curly, off black hair really is.


10 thoughts on “Not Blonde

  1. We have that same doll u posted. But we also have have the “token” Journey doll. Her name is Tarin & her hair is exactly the depiction of well groomed, kinkly & curly. She is also a tall doll (about 1/2 the size of ME) that can be dressed & diva’d out. Tho I have to be honest when it comes to hair styling Skyler goes right back to the barbie head or the tanned Brats Styling head she has. I suppose she finds it less difficult to comb & add ballies & bows. Not sure. I can tell u the little plastic brush that came w/the Journey doll alwyz gets stuck in the things head. I remebmer ur blonde days. Wish I had some blackmail pics…lol

    • See “E” if my memory serves me correctly, you had a little something to do with my first color experience. I am mighty glad we all didn’t have camera phones like now. I guess Skylar is right about the ease of styling traditional doll hair. Keep me posted on any solutions to the hair dilemma. Happy bday Skylar.

  2. Hey cuz I love the way you are doing what you are doing with ME…….I absolutely love it!!! You are also getting pretty darn good with the pen too! Until next week, God bless ya family.

  3. Why does every time I read your post I have something to relate to. I must say that when my 3 year old says anything about hair or the way things look, I instantly insert words that make her know she’s beautiful the way she is. As a matter of fact, it’s always a time of teaching, ‘love yourself’.

  4. That is soooooo funny but true. My six yr old, who is already light brown, loves long blonde hair. She found a light pale blotch on her neck, an says she cant wait til it goes all over. PUMP THE BRAKES… u, i startd telling her how beautiful she was, n how i loved her jus the way she was. Smh……motherhood

  5. OK! you also just defined a business you might pursue. Creat a doll with hear an African American girl can have and style. It will get her interesting i developing ways to wear and style her own hair. As black women are ‘hair crazy or sensitive’ this would promote proud and provide a real opportunity for self satisfaction. Love.

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